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nen
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PostSubject: Epic Rap Battles of DC   Sun May 13, 2012 4:54 pm

It's exactly as it sounds.
Two characters go head to head in an epic rap battle.
DC'ers decide the winner.
There are typically three verses. If you want a rematch, that's all fine and dandy.
First up:

Andyr & Atoro
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PostSubject: Re: Epic Rap Battles of DC   Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:38 am

CLASSLESS RAPPING: LESSON I
APOLLO VS ZARTEAR

I understand that your people were defeated by mages
and you, their King, stand before me with dead dragons in cages
trying to scare me, good luck, I haven't had fun in ages
though i have to warn you, take your shots in stages
this is your last battle before you're a story in the pages
of another tome of how your people lost to sages


Officer, what does a scholar know about victory or defeat?
If this is all of it, you're *coughing* at the wrong king.
The fact that you're a bore is the only truth you speak,
Bitch I've eaten more entertaining plague stricken sheep.
All mangled and sour, no threat just weak,
but compared to your power, perhaps a challenge with /meat/.
So listen up, Zar's got a plan for all your mage fools
How about a 10 feet deep pit just for you,
'Cause A man like me doesn't need magic to burn yo,
Drown you in a pool of lyric inferno


That's cute, now try it again with passion
but you wouldn't know about that
word of caution:
these petty farmers and mage fools
will take down your sword wielding tools
and watch as your dream of a new command
goes up in flames...
like your homeland


The old country may be dead but the new is alive,
We'll be so fast, won't know what destroyed you and your mice,
Get your back all broken, yet now you still got no spine.
What will farmers do against a force like this?
Pay your dues and then pay attention to the rules,
I am the king that won't wait on a witness
When I kill you with this swords-master sized iron fist.


I knew you were as dumb as you looked
are you sure your brain isn't cooked
look how long it took you to come back at me
with a half baked rhyme about your standing army
that couldn't please a warm melon let alone a lady
frankly I think the evidence of your sexuality is rather shady
you sure that swordsmaster sized iron fist
hasn't been up your ass first, you do walk funny
now sit back and relax while a cripple pleases your honey


I hope for your sake this is just a phase,
One right before you die; you're closer to a coffin than a lady's vajay,
Don't confuse the stride of pride with your walk of shame,
Tell me Apollo, When's the last time you sent your soldiers on their way?
It's okay to belong to a nation that barely knows its own name.
I invite you to come here into my new palace,
But can you manage it? I think you fear the King's the malice.


The King's malice? You mean eating cake angrily?
I stand by my believe that you're piteous militarily.
How could I be afraid of a boy with cream on his face?
Get out of my space before I wreck your army and leave you in disgrace
with nothing but my mind and damn good tactics
speaking of, your tactician should hop off DDC dicks
oh wait nevermind he's way too into Lahrukan tricks


You too would be eating this scrumptious cake in a flaming rage,
when everyone that stepped up was crushed back down in let me count,
1, 2...a few short days.
The time it takes for a reject avian to suffocate,
have a death you'll only find in a surselea-surah bird cage,
This is one way to end that would make your precious arch mage shake.
Consider this a warning for all the avians that
step out, and then get put to shame.


Nen&Zay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Use things, not people and love people, not things."


Last edited by Zay on Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:53 pm; edited 7 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Epic Rap Battles of DC   Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:39 am

CLASSLESS RAPPING: LESSON II
YUZAN VS EVGENII

Greetings Evgenii, welcome to the Surahnian palace,
For now locked up, (score) still played with the tactician's phallus.
What? Come now, no need to be callous.
I like to be honest,
I have the tactical advantage, you already know it baby,
Your blood runs cold; I'm a Lahrukan lady.
How about a bowman like you?
I know I'm here to stay,
I hear what your surahnian comrades say;
"That man is mage fodder"
So here I am, if I must, then I will slay.


Hm. What happened to your face?
Did a soldier teach you your place?
I think the look suits you,
Lahrukan whore meets Surahnian zoo.
To think you call yourself a lady...
you're a tart, woman not pastry.
Were it not for Atoro's dick in your mouth
you would clearly see this battle's going south
just like his intentions. Let me be blunt,
he wants you for that gaping hole you call a cunt.


See, I won't even need to lift a finger
It'll be pussy power to put you in your place,
Stay a while and watch as I serve up this zinger,
With a body like mine, soon Atoro will make a hash of your face.
Strung up and hung up, you'll be left dangling,
We all know he'll turn from you, to the logical choice.
This woman has charm, you're lacking poise.


Ha, what the hell have you been smoking?
Him, choose you over me? You must be joking.
You have no goddamn power, you're a pussy without a face
When he's done with you, I'll make sure you're gone without a trace
but I promise you you'll never leave this place
I'll drown you, behead you, and mount your ugly face
above Atoro's mantle just in case
he forgets a slut almost left him in disgrace.


At least we both know he'd have me for a souvenir,
You? Your body would be thrown away,
Here ye! Who wants to keep the pieces of this psychotic queer?
Yet!
Even without him, I know I will be just fine,
You forget Evgenii, he's not the only one with a serpentine mind.
Give me just a little of your time, I'll pour you wine and I'll turn you to my side,
Then we can put this silly mess behind.
"Deny what you know you want" he once said,
stop playing Evgenii,
try laying in a lady's bed.


Sure, start with the fact that I like men
double that with the fact that I'm condemned
to a life of unrequited loves and horrible sex
but my dear, all I have to do is flex
to get a lady in my bed if I so choose.
though to get a cunny near me would require lots of booze...
Let's go a step further, and talk about pain
of which you are not stranger
You're covered in stains
of regret and always in danger
of a man's fickle feelings ending your life
i'd rather have my strife
than spend a day in the shoes of what is essentially a lahrukan housewife.



Zay&Nen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Use things, not people and love people, not things."


Last edited by Zay on Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:38 pm; edited 3 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Epic Rap Battles of DC   Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:02 am

BABY BIBBLE RAP: LESSON I
KVINNA VS SYRU

Lookit my paws, lookit my belly
you knock off light bright
I bet ur real jelly
of my super awesome paws and my super duper claws
I'll bite right through you,
chew you,
but not before i get through these boots
IMMA NOM U LIKE FRUITS


Maybe youíre stronger níme but something you ainít got,
Magic, girl, and Iíll tell you what,
Iímma knock you down right there on the spot!
Boys are better nígirls, even ya daddy thinks so,
Doncha think he wishes you had a bro?
Yeah errybody loves me aní my glow,
Youíre over, Kvin, bring on the Syru show!


I'd spit hot fire!
but I'm way too young.
sides, you're a ugly liar!
and you smell like dung
My subjects call me Queenie,
You? you're just a squishy weenie!
eehee i didn't mean it, Syru
psyche! I did and guess what, ur daddy smells like poopoo too


Too young, ya think? Well youíre older níme!
Iíll blast you with some light rays in ONE, TWO, THREE!
Speakiní of Daddies, mineís more important níyours,
Aní he beat yours already in these rapping wars,
Wanna talk Ďbout Winfo? If ya cut me down,
Heíll bring me back to life, Iíll come back around!


grrrrOWWL now I'm on the prowl!
That's it, just hand in the towel
I'mma find ur starry butt and put my foot rrrright through it!
I woulda gone easy on ya, but you don't know when to quit!
I'mma Surrrrahnian gal and we got a saying, I'll be brief:
OPEN UR MOUF AND SHOW EM UR TEEF


Oh shut Kvinna, all you do is yap,
You need your Surah friends to help you out with your rap.
They donít even want ya round,
They hate dragons aní aught!
Basically, youíre just embarrassing yourself,
Go back aní live with Daddy on your stupid ice shelf!



Nen&Artemis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Use things, not people and love people, not things."


Last edited by Zay on Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:38 pm; edited 3 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Epic Rap Battles of DC   Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:06 am

CLASSLESS RAPPING: LESSON III
ARMENO VS SILDRED

You damn Surahnians, think youíre really big,
Trained for seven years, huh? Well how Ďbout seventy-six!
Itís not hard to see you live under a rock,
Just look at you, your skin is whiter than chalk.
Why donít you get out that sword and weíll see what youíve got!


You start with insults? Iíll begin with largesse.
My first gift to you: A lesson in finesse.
War is an artform your people donít possess
and while you look for ways to assess
how to deal with your state of duress
Iíll stand to the side and facilitate your egress
out of my new city, New Racksom, Surahnian Success.


As long as weíre teaching, I know a thing or two,
How about we start by fixing you?
My lover might be crazy but at least sheís not dead,
Man, youíve gotta get that bitch out of your head!
Itís a pretty basic lesson not to get distracted,
Watch while your Lahrukan defeat gets re-enacted.


When I relieve you of the woman in your life
Iíll stand before you and crow: forget your wife!
Only youíre not married, your relationship rife
with betrayal and pain, hurt and shame
Perhaps the one that needs fixing is you
Your woman is your bane
Mine was the vein from which hope sprang eternal


Your insults are pathetic, thereís no basis in fact,
Why donít you show me all that hope youíve got, how about that?
I guess you keep it for your country, did you think about this:
If they knew about your magic I think youíd find theyíd resist.
Want to bring your wife back? Her soulís up in the air,
Get back down to Earth before you follow her there.


I understand, as an elf, you donít know how to be a man
Itís pain and sacrifice and, above all, a view that youíre no better than
the mark you leave behind, the legacy you create
To Armeno Narandal, what can I equate?
Nothing: Your people, your future, your inescapable fate



Artemis&Nen

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Use things, not people and love people, not things."
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PostSubject: Re: Epic Rap Battles of DC   Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:44 pm

T&F RAP
ANDYR VS ATORO

I'm from the Three Crows Clan where we emphasize Man
Traveled across the Everplain to Join the Surah Train
Rose lightning fast in rank cos I'm a fucking Tank
Savage you might think, but at least in the sun I don't turn fucking pink... and burn.

All the ladies love my biceps, they're bigger than your head
Though I guess it doesn't matter, you like your lovers dead
Yeah we all heard about your Kaionar trip
Now everyone on DC floats the Rinthoro Ship

I know all your disses have to do with my looks, my methods, my brain
Let me stop you now, ask you to abstain
It isn't even funny, you are that fucking boring
I'll bearslap you, string you up and give you an oaring




You want a rap? Well fine, here it is,
My name is Atoro; Iím not one youíll miss,
Tactician of the rebels, with good measure too,
The only man to oppose me- Andyr, but youíve bitten off too much to chew.

You call others dog, but who was whipped as one?
Such might inspire the lesser men, but my respectís still none.
They think youíre so tough, show it till Kvinna,
I wonder, the way to conquer you is for me to end Ďer?

With poison or knife, she will die like a dog,
No doubt your ďeloquenceĒ will vanish like fog,
Then we will see what is your true mettle,
Thorn in my side you may be, but soon, not but a nettle.



Nen&Rogue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Use things, not people and love people, not things."
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