And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro]

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Sun Sep 23, 2012 8:06 am

And Evgenii knew it.

His brows drew together and he looked down, clenching his hands into fists atop his knees. "But why." Surely he could not... love her. Surely he could not feel anything for her. She had bewitched him with her false looks, and scammed her way into his bed surely for a favor only he could grant her. Given half the chance, she would see him dead or worse. Evgenii just knew that all she cared for was herself, she was Laruhkan. Loathsome, vile... undeserving of mercy or kindness. How could she be of any value alive? How could the risks outweigh the benefits of a dead Laruhkan?

He sighed deeply. "Forget it. I do not care to know your reasons. You need not tell me, it is not my place to know." It would either hurt him, or make him angry and he did not wish to explode on Atoro a second time. "It was a poor time to talk of it now. Later, perhaps... when I can be civil about it."

But he never would, would he? No, not with so many questions.

He'd come to terms with never having his devotion returned, but he never thought Atoro would turn his devotion to a Laruhkan.It hurt him twice as much as it should have.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Fri Sep 28, 2012 5:22 pm

The reasons for keeping Yuzan alive were fuzzy to Atoro himself, he wasn’t quite sure why he hadn’t thrown her in the Surselea and had done with her for good, but he just… hadn’t.
“She might be useful,” he said, skirting around giving Evgenii a proper answer. She might be useful in the future, but for now, all she was doing was creating a problem- another that Atoro did not need. Still, killing her now wasn’t the right thing to do. It was like using an escape route, to a situation he had found himself in, playing a lucky card to make it all go away. He could play that card but… he might need to save it for later.

Leaning back in his chair, he idly rubbed at his chest. “You are doing it again. When you brush off a topic so I must justify myself.” It seemed to happen regularly, too regularly. “I did not kill her, because it seemed too… good for her. Quick. This way, she has to live like we do, remembering her homeland, remembering what has been done to her.” It was not the same scarring as seeming your kinsmen killed, but none-the-less, Yuzan had been scarred by what he had done to her, he knew that.
“Until I decide what else to do with her, she will be a prisoner of the palace. She will not escape, her life will not be pleasant; it is barely a life. Does this satisfy you?”

He did not think that it would, and he braced himself for another angry reply, like before.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:27 pm

Evgenii shrugged. "Who am I to question you?" She should be dead. She should have been dead the moment Atoro saw her as a Laruhkan. There should have been no talking, just death. Giving the bitch life meant she could plot, it mean she could figure out a way to escape, to ruin Atoro. Laruhkans were good for nothing and evil. There was no kindness in them, they were filled with nothing but treachery. If he wanted her to suffer, he should have had his time drowning her, or flaying her. There was much suffering in that. He should have broken her, and possibly given her to the Surselea and informed their King of her. There would have been much suffering, moreso than pining for one's homeland.

He poured himself a goblet of wine and drank it rather quickly, poured himself another and sipped. "I am just a bowman."

He didn't care if it would earn Atoro's ire, but if that Laruhkan whore stepped one toe out of line, he'd feather her.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 7:52 pm

Atoro sighed in frustration, putting his elbow on the table and pinching the top of his nose between his fingers. All thoughts of finishing off pudding had fled his mind a couple of minutes ago now.
“How much convincing do you need? Do not make me reassure you daily that she will not escape, that she is still kept under close guard,” he said, voice bored at the thought of such a tedious occurrence. Dammit, he would do it though. He himself checked every day that she was not straying from her daily routines.

Looking up from the table, he glared momentarily at Evgenii before rolling his eyes. “You may say that you are ‘just a bowman’, but you have never acted like one. What other ‘just a bowman’ would be here, now? The only time you have acted like a regular bowman was earlier this week, and you were barely, if at all, you.”
Atoro had barely seen him that day, of course, they had just fought, but he knew from the little that they had talked in the evening that Evgenii had been little more than a shadow of his normal self. Anyone could have spotted that.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 8:03 pm

He walked over to the table and set his goblet down. Leaned in so that there was little space between his face and Atoro's. "The only reason I am here, is because you dragged me on the boat. Is because I wanted to see you rise to heights none of us could touch. Is because you are the smartest man I have ever met and you have determination stronger than any steel. Is because I believe you are great." He let that sink in. "I am telling you so that you know it will be me. If that bitch steps a toe out of line, you will find her drowned." Or mayhaps he would not find her at all. There were other, worse ways for a witch to die. "Or perhaps I will stuff her in one of the ovens to fuel our baking. She will prove her use then, I am told human fat burns for a long time." He leaned back and grabbed his goblet. Smiled at Atoro. "I am just a bowman." And he jealously guarded his friends, and perhaps he guarded Atoro with much more fervor beause of how he felt, but rest assured, all his friends were privy to his selfless devotion. Atoro wasn't the only one he visited regularly. He made sure he spent his time with the other surviving members of their team, bringing food, presents for their children, some castle gossip to tide them over. He did whatever it took to keep his friends happy.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 8:36 pm

At the start of what Evgenii was saying, not pulling away from his close gaze, however much he disliked it, Atoro frowned, opening his mouth to make a retort. Would you rather have stayed in Surahnia? Died at the port, killed by Lahrukans?
But he wasn’t speaking in just the literal sense, of course. Things weren’t that simple with Evgenii, were they?
It was not good that the man idolised him so much, the thought just slipped through his mind. Seeing Atoro make the occasional slip up just made things more complicated than they ever should be.

He dropped his eyes at Evgenii’s sudden compliments, looking at the ground for a few seconds before back up again, scowl still fixed. At least someone had a little faith in him.
“If I find her drowned, then the consequences for that will be no less harsh for you, then any other soldier,” he said. Avoided anything previously. He fixed him with a steely look.
“You will not touch her.”

Evgenii’s smile did not help, as usual. He said these things with such a disarming look on his face, sometimes it was difficult to believe that he was being serious. However, Atoro had known him too long that the smile meant little. Shaking his head, he let his scowl slip a little, more to resignation.
“Then you are the most poorly behaved bowman in the Surahnian army. Not one other would think of even speaking to one of their peers such; disobeying the order of one of the King’s inner circle…”
It was unbelievable, when you thought about it.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 8:47 pm

"I'm given to believe you make poor decisions on a regular basis." He grinned. "After all, had I not disobeyed orders and stayed behind to cover your exit, there would be no Atoro the Tactician. There would be Atoro the Corpse and the corpses of all his friends and supporters." He grabbed the jug of wine and made a circuit of his room, pouring the drink and sipping from his cup. "Besides, I don't see how drowning a Laruhkan would get me a punishment. Be careful Atoro." He circled back to him. "I can only protect you from so much, but protecting you from yourself is something even I cannot do." He was just a little drunk now. It showed in the color on his cheeks. "I promise you I listen, I just don't listen when I know you're in danger, and this castle, this country it is thick with spies... just waiting to kill a man with their adder's poison. While everyone might be calling this their home." He gestured, his arms wide. "I know better. This is not our new home. It won't be our home until these dragon abominations are extinct and the people of this land are fertilizing our crops."

He seemed to lose heart and sat down heavy on Atoro's bed. "A troup of elite soldiers trying to take a land for glory. But that's just a cover. We're pathetic, and in need and we don't want our enemies to see. We need enemies to feel strong."

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:00 pm

“I do not think I am the one who makes poor decisions, when you say to me so freely that you think I do.” Atoro leant back in his chair as Evgenii wandered around, clutching his goblet and the wine jug in his hands. He was just making a fool of himself again.
“If you had not disobeyed orders, you would not have nearly died, that day. You do not remember the care we had to take of you, but you yourself were nearly Evgenii the corpse, not Evgenii the over-familiar bowman.”
He did not like the idea of that, nor the idea of his own demise. There had been too much of that already.

“You are too arrogant for your own good.”

He got up and stretched, then walked to the window, enjoying the cool air gently wafting in. He would have liked to let Evgenii’s words just waft over him too, but he never relaxed enough for that to happen. Not around anyone.
“You think I am always in danger, from the way you act; at least, you never seem to listen. Or if you do, then you always disregard it.” He was always too protective. “Do not think I am not aware of the dangers of this land- I am Surahnian too. Even if this land is not poisoned like home, I know that it is not to be treated lightly.”

Even if Dragons’ Cove was better than Surahnia, it would never, never be home.

“You are saying one thing, then disregarding it the next. Spies are our enemies, these natives that resist us so- if they saw sense, then they would not resist us. They cause themselves to become our enemies, the way they act, and how they see us. Invaders, ones who do not belong- but we are strong. What other race could escape the Lahrukans? We will not be crushed by natives who think their farming ways, for ages past, are best. Things will change. But we need faith for that to occur.”
He could feel his old spirit for Surahnia returning.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:37 pm

Evgenii smiled sweetly at Atoro and stood. "You are right... and I am forgetting myself. It seems I've imbibed just a bit too much." He set the jug down on the table, his goblet as well. He rubbed his hands on his pants and walked toward the door. Turned to rest his back on it and watch Atoro. "The higher you rise, the deadlier the fall. I am just fearful for your safety. It is silly, though, to be so afraid. You are Surahnian. You can fight, and I've seen you fight." He looked down to his boots, shined with meticulous care. "We may be in need, us Surahnians, but we are no beggars. We take what we want, we fight for our right." He chuckled. "We will not be beaten back by farmers and their overgrown pets. My doubt and fears come from idleness. Perhaps I should practice more." He pushed up from the door. "I am sorry to have bothered you so much over everything, and the woman. Just know it is... concern. Perhaps too much concern." He turned and opened the door. "I am at your call, whenever, Atoro. If you trust nothing, trust my loyalty." Evgenii exited and made for his room, to have a nap and sober up.

Subject: Re: And Who Am I To Judge You? [Atoro] Tue Oct 02, 2012 11:31 pm

Atoro raised one eyebrow at Evgenii as he put the jug back on the table, taking a cursory look to see how much he had actually drunk. A fair amount, well, that would explain a touch of his mannerisms- although he had never been one for treating Atoro anything other than just his equal. If an equal levitated by adoration.
“As I have said before, I will say again; you care too much for my safety. I will not fall, you can be certain of that.”
Whatever tracks he made, he also made sure to put nets behind him, just in case. It may be considered paranoid, by some, but vigilance was key in a dangerous world. At least there were a few who would follow him down whichever trail he chose, wrong or right. At least Evgenii was seeing clearly again now, after his short doubts, though.

He smirked a little at talk of idleness. That was not something Atoro suffered from, at all. “Practise more? You may find yourself matching the practise of the other bowmen, if you work too hard.” Waving away Evgenii’s apologies as he turned towards the door, he kept his usual frown from his face. The man really was too possessive of him, to an uncomfortable extent. It was like keeping a wolf locked up in a cage, trying to escape to protect him from the smallest of things.

But he did trust him. As unbalanced as their friendship may be, it felt good to have a friend somewhere, even if such a friend expected such great things from him. Perhaps the only one he regarded as such. No wonder Evgenii thought Atoro a fool.

Batting his arm in an offhand gesture as the bowman left, he turned and looked out of the window for a few seconds, letting his frown creep back again, then returned to his normal pile of work.

» Atoro Reimeghan- .:A lucky name:. (Human)
» Atoro [These things we do for power] Rintho
» [Atoro] The Definition of a Surahnian [Rette}
» [Yuzan] Lahrukans aren't that easy to spot after all [Atoro]
» Evgenii Adroa || The flower to Atoro's cactus || Human